What do we do when my spouse and I disagree about a discipline plan for our child?
Oct 12, 2018
How do we handle discipline in our home when my spouse and I disagree?
This is such an important topic for at least two reasons. 1. Consistency in discipline is very important for children with ADHD. 2. Parenting children with ADHD is stressful. In fact, parents of children with ADHD are twice as likely to divorce before the child reaches age 8 as compared to other parents. You need each other!
Here are some tips to make a plan that works:
- Nurture your own relationship, and get away occasionally.
- Check for understanding by mirroring back what your partner is saying before reacting.
- Parents should both become as informed as possible about ADHD, and attend all meetings, important diagnostic appointments, etc.
- Make decisions together and compromise, if necessary, so that you can agree to enforce the rules and provide consistency. If necessary use the House Rule worksheet available here. Each parent completes the worksheet separately, then, compares the sheets and consolidates.
- Take time out to cool off, if necessary.
- Be willing to apologize.
- Split duties equally with all children. Sometimes, the father always takes one child to activities, games, etc., and the mother always takes the other child to all activities, games, etc. This can give children the illusion that they have more influence over one parent than the other, and result in them playing parents against each other, causing even more tension in the household.
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